Your rosy glasses have to come off once you realize that you are “the other woman” in your husband’s life. Yes, he’s having a torrid love affair. But only, it’s with the Indian cricket team one week, and Roger Federer the next! So what is a sports widow got to do with herself? You’ve already promised to be in it ‘for better or for worse’ so the answer, quite simply, is to support him. By support, we don’t mean you become his gofer and run in and out of the kitchen to refill his bowl of pretzels or bring him another can of beer every few minutes. You don’t have to push yourself beyond reasonable means of exasperation. Here is what your choices as a sports widow include -
Become a sports fan yourself:
There’s an entire world of sports just waiting to be discovered. You may think it’s not something you enjoy but you never know. Try getting in there and understanding the technicalities. Ask questions, but not in the middle of a match breaking point! The next thing you know, whether your favourite team wins or loses could easily be determining your mood for the rest of the day, let alone your spouse’s. Also, you and your husband can bond with the children if they’re sports fanatics themselves. And if there’s a big game in your city, you could even watch it live and make a family outing of it.
Watch it anyway to be close to him:
If you can’t beat em, join em. You haven’t developed any passion for the game but this doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy it, nonetheless. You’d be far more appreciated if you’d just pour yourself a glass of wine and join him on the couch than if you tried to nag or strike a conversation with him in the middle of the second innings. Maybe your husband will want to return the favour by accompanying you to a dance recital you’ve been dying to watch?
Use this time alone to do other things:
Now you’ve tried getting what all the fuss is about, but you realize that you don’t care who’s playing, who’s scoring or who’s winning. There’s nothing more annoying than a clueless fan pretending to be into sports and you certainly won’t be the first to admit to your disinterest. Give each other space during this time. There’s nothing stopping you from doing things you love – read a book, get a massage, take up a guitar glass, use this time to squeeze in a workout or a swim! Catch a movie with your friends or if you have a daughter, you guys could go out shopping… The options are endless.
Make a night out of it:
You and your friends can take turns hosting game nights. Get all the husbands together and let them yell and pound the floor before the tv while the girls can enjoy each other’s company, play poker or just catch up on all the latest gossip. An alternative would be to have all the boys under one roof and shift your party to another house till the game is over.
Agree to a compromise:
If it’s not cricket it’s football or tennis. Sports is always on and you can’t be a sports widow all your life now, can you? Decide on the number of hours he gets to watch sports. Or he could agree to skipping a few of the group stage matches in exchange for zero interruptions during the semis and the finals. This way, he’ll get to watch his game, you’ll have your space and you can still spend quality time with each other!
The bottom line is that sports is an integral part of your husband’s life. So accept it! There’s enough trouble in a marriage already for you to have to fight over Sachin Tendulkar getting out in the second over. We’ve given you several ways by which you can battle being a sports widow. What is your weapon of choice?
